Comparing the candidates for Greatest Living American

Comparing the candidates for Greatest Living American: A completely biased look at Brandon Wirtz and Stephen Colbert.

Stance on Bears:

Stephen Colbert has announced on multiple occasions that he is a Hater of Bears, all Bears, but especially Polar Bears.

Brandon loves bears, and as a Native of Michigan, and Resident of California he shows that love by choosing to live in states with Bears on their flag.

Stance On Video Games:

This is an Out Right Tie. Check the video of Colbert Talking about First Person Shooters, and Violence in Video Games. Then Look at Brandon showing you how to play Rainbow 6 as George W. Bush, and Play Xbox Live while driving.

Global Warming:

Colbert advocates global warming is a good thing, mostly on the basis that it is killing polar bears.

Brandon advocates reducing your carbon out put through responsible computing.

Hooking You Up:

While Stephen is fond of bringing up his big brass balls, he has never offered to hook you up.

Brandon shares his 5 Virtual Girl Friends so you don’t have to be lonely on a Friday (or any other ) night.


Colbert is endorsed by Chris Pirillo the Locker Gnome, a pretty Geeky Guy.

Brandon works at Microsoft, and IS a pretty geeky guy.

Asking the Hard Questions:

Colbert Survived an encounter with Bill O’Reilly.

Brandon wrote the 20 hardest Video Compression Questions, and their answers.

Fashion Sense:

Colbert dresses in business attire all of the time but lands a cover on GQ.

Wirtz is seen at Clothing Designer Peter Nygard’s Parties accompanied by 20 something year old actresses.

Colbert spends $1,000 on his hair cut, Wirtz gets his hair cut at Outrage Salon for 1/15 the price.


Both Have Strong Views on Branding:

Colbert recently chose branding to be his Word of the Day, Wirtz wrote about brandwidth in May of 2004.

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