Stephen Colbert for President in 2008 only if He Pries the Inaugural Bible From My Cold Dead Hands

After Stephen Colbert tried to defeat me in the race for the title of Greatest Living American, and failed, how does he expect that I am going to concede my birth right to be President to him?  Sure he is old enough, to run, and I’m not which gives him a head start, but let’s face it, if he can’t beat me in a popularity contest, how is he going to beat Hilary Clinton?  Sure Colbert could crush the likes of some one like Obama, but Al Gore has a better chance of winning than C-train does.

Because I am ineligible from the 2008 elections I am officially announcing my support for Jake Ludington.  Jake was pivotal in my race for Greatest Living American, along with my partner in many of my crazy video exploits.

This country needs some one like Jake to be president.

After the years of mockery that this nation has faced as the result of the unintentionally funny George W. Bush, we need a soft spoken, direct, and totally lacking anything that could be considered a sense of humor individual like Jake.

Jake has the leadership skills clearly lacking from Colbert who always follows in the shadows of John Stewart. 

Jake shows fiscal responsibility spending far less on a hair cut than the $400 that Colbert says he spends.

There is also the ongoing matter of bears.  Colbert hates polar bears and supports Global warming as a means to bring about their demise.  Jake has shown his commitment to the "green" movement buy purchasing a Scooter which gets 80+ mpg.

Unlike Colbert who speaks only one language, and rather poorly, Jake speaks three languages which are the most important to the role of President.  English for communicating with the "true" Americans, French for Speaking with the Canadians who we will be forced to invade when global warming requires us to abandon the Southern States, and Chinese where all of our products are made.

 

Jake Negotiates a Peaceful accord with the Leader of the Gnomish Tribes.

Opposition to Stephen Colbert for President in 2008

Jake’s Scooter, which is Purple showing his support for Metrosexuals.

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Jake Plays Online games with George W. Bush.

Jake Ludington For President in 2008