Best out of 7. Sally Kern Says Gays Are Worse Than Terrorists, but we aren’t so sure

I guess worse could be used multiple ways, like “If you are looking for ways to overthrow a government Gays are worse than terrorists”, but if you are an Oklahoma Legislator, you’d think that most of the things Terrorists do would be “worse” than anything gays do.  But what about for your average Joe, the things in his daily life are terrorists better than Gays?  We test Sally Kern’s Statement.

1. Entertainment:

I mean they both sell movie tickets, and TV shows, L-Word and The Cell are both doing really well, but Measured in pure Pay Per View Dollars I’m certain that the Barbie Twins have out sold every terrorist on the planet. 1 point to the Gays.

2. Cooking:

Unless you are really in to Middle Eastern cuisine chances are you are going to get a better tasting meal from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’s Ted Allen, than Osama Bin Laden.  1 point to the Gays.

3. Automotive Repair:

Fighting as a Guerilla warrior, or rigging a hunk of junk to be a ticking time bomb requires mechanical prowess, taking your Lexus to the dealer doesn’t.  1 point to the Terrorists.

4. Fashion:

There was a time in the 80’s when camo was in, and I have seen some butch lesbians who I would have had a hard time distinguishing from a terrorist, but Target represents the peak of fashion and they hired Isaac Mizrahi, so gays must be the ultimate in fashionistas. 1 point to the Gays.

5. Home Decor:

This is a tough call, I really like Persian design, and I really like tents, both are prevalent in terrorist decorating.  And who hasn’t wanted an AK-47 over the mantle?  If Ty Pennington would come out of the closet I’d have to give the point to the Gays, but since he is seemingly Straight…  1 Point to the Terrorists.

6. Role Model:

Who wants there kid to grow up to be the next Pay Per View star?  And let’s face it while not everyone in America know’s a Gay person, or a Terrorist, they have all seen a Video with a Girl-Girl Scene.  Terrorists have goals, create a plan and execute on it.  If it weren’t for their possibly misplaced objectives they would be ideal role models, they don’t use steroids, so they are certainly better role models than Baseball Players. 1 Point to the Terrorists.

7. Better Neighbor:

Terrorists tend to be quiet, keep to them selves and not blow things up in their own neighborhood, so they make pretty good neighbors.  Gays tend to throw snobby wine tasting parties, and then not invite straights.  1 Point to the Terrorists.

 

4 points Terrorists, 3 points Gays.  It would appear that Sally Kern is right, Gays are Worse then Terrorists.

(This is not meant to offend anyone, Simply point out how ridiculous Sally Kern’s statement is.)