There is a dirty joke about what happens the first night after marriage that goes…
Maria had just gotten married and she was still a virgin. So, on the first night after her marriage, staying at her mother’s house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. ‘Don’t worry, Maria. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take care of you.’
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, ‘Mama, Mama, Tony’s got a big hairy chest.’
‘Don’t worry, Maria,’ says the mother, ‘all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He’ll take good care of you.’
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother.
‘Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he’s got hairy legs!’
‘Don’t worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take good care of you.’
So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes.
When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. ‘Mama, Mama, Tony’s got a foot and a half!’
‘Stay here and stir the pasta,’ the mother says. ‘This is a job for Mama!’
This “no surprises” ad for prepaid wireless always amuses me.